Chapter 4: That foolish man (Seira’s attendant POV]
Author: 月鳴 (Moon Echo)
T/N: This is partially edited. Appreciate if anyone willing to point out any mistake. So here goes… This mini mass release is to celebrate the one year anniversary of Incarose Jealousy MTL….. #13
I will never forget that person who suddenly disappeared without saying anything.
Whether it was love or hatred, there was no way for me to make a judgement on it; however, one thing that I knew was, it was not a feeling constricted between those two to that either, and only that, I am sure of it.
I do not know if it was love, yearning or respect.
Or whether it was related to hatred and disgust.
That person left without leaving anything behind, as she quickly disappeared from my sight.
At that time when I first met that person, she had sheltered me. The first— and the last gift.
I was an orphan who was abandoned by my parents, and I was raised by the church as I far that I could remember. When I was around five or six years old, I was taken in by that house.
Apart from me, there was another child who was also the son of this family’s stewards who had served this family for generations; and the two of us were expected to support the two daughters of this house. It was said that the family’s head had decided to adopt an orphan since his wife had been worried about her inability to provide an heir for the family.
As I grew up, I noticed that I might be paired off with the daughter that I served as if I was some kind of a horse stud from somewhere. The Duke himself, shown little to no interest at all towards this younger daughter of his and declared that he didn’t care who I am as long as there was no major blunder happened that will tarnish the family’s name.
After I finished my training as the attendant, I finally met that person.
I thought that her dark eyes were like darkness. Just by aligning our eyes, I could feel the illusion of being swallowed in by her. Unexpectedly, I could also sense the feeling of belonging as if we were [the same type of people]. A strange feeling started to synchronize between the two of us despite being in a different position and social standing. It was a mix of conflicting emotions of warm yet sad, painful yet gentle.
I immediately understood the reason behind this.
This person was also someone who did not have a place where she belonged. Whether in her own home or the outside. It seemed that she was too similar to me who had been adopted just to balance the number.
And from then on, I had considered that person’s place as mine and mine as hers.
Until that time.
That person who rarely adorned the bright red lipstick had pulled others’ attention with her seductive-like laughter before disappeared from my sight. Without looking back.
—Was that despair? —Betrayal? —was the extent of my presence to her only amount to that much?
Didn’t you give me a place I felt I belonged?
This black and heavy feeling that I could never understand started to fill up my body.
Because that person wished for it,
I did everything she asked me.
I had noticed it previously when she started to change a little bit over time. I was the person who had always remained by her side, and therefore it will be a lie if I said that I did not see the sign of it.
Unlike that person that serve her older sister, I am not someone that worshipped my own master fervently. However, I am still someone who had received enough training to become an attendant. Of course, this was only meant to provide a living for me. Again, I was doing my work with a sense of pride.
It was after that grand evening party when I received a strange order from that person — the evening party where Rachel-sama and His Highness Crown Prince met each other for the first time.
Until now, she had always stopped herself when she was in front of everyone’s eyes, to maintain an uninterested atmosphere without acting on it, however, right now, that person movement was like a fish that already found the water. Except for me as a person, no one will ever suspect on her ingenious attack on Rachel-sama.
“You are my attendant, right? …. You should never disobey me, and it is not like you have anywhere else to go.”
With that pressure-like-threat, that person forced me to make her move. Therefore I used my hand to accomplish those evil deeds… However, when I thought about it now, I guess that was that person sign of kindness.
After that thing was exposed and she was condemned in public, that person immediately left the country, of course, I had also been single out by others. It was a matter, of course. After all, I was the one who had been executing those move against them.
But, Rachel-sama still took pity on me for being weak in going against my own master due to my position as a servant and an orphan. It also came to my surprise that the Crown Prince who had always seemed to treat others like air appeared to protect me.
After all, even if there was no big accusation charged on me, I had already lost the backing from the Duke. However, since I was still young, it was decided that I will enter the knight’s squatter with the pretext of retraining.
If this goes the way it was, I might be able to become a knight smoothly. There would be no differences if one were to work in a stable or as an attendant in other’s house somewhere.
My future had certainly been carved out in a place where that person will never be.
But still, why, did I…
Thought of such situation with the feeling of hatred……..
……I have yet to find the answer to that.
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8 thoughts on “Dare ga Tame Chapter 4”
The poor attendant kun….. He lost his one and only oasis…..
Thank you for the chapter~!
Thanks for the chapter!
The attendant must have a very complex feeling..
All of this people are a hypocrite, they dont like it when the person was in front of them, but dislike it more when the person vanish… People?..
Sigh~ glad Seira was banished~
thanks for the chapter XD
I feel sad for the attendant!!
will they meet again in the future??
This attendant should’ve followed his master
Thanks for the new chapter! The feeling of belonging is long gone. He should have followed her. XD
And damn. The father was vicious for saying the attendant can do as he pleases with Seira as long as it doesn’t get exposed. >_<
two to that either, and only that, I am sure off.
she quickly disappeared from my eyesight.
she had given me a shelter.
declared that he don’t care whoever I am as long as there was no major blunder happened that will tarnish the family’s name.
he didn’t care who
Didn’t you gave me a place where I felt belong to?
give me a place I felt I belonged?
This black and heavy feeling that I could never understood started to fill up my body.
understand started to
that person force me to make her move,
Thought of such situation with the feeling of hatred….
Way late, but here are the edits I promised.
Thank you will do it later 🙂