English title: A soliloquy until a certain divorcee able to fully enjoy freedom.
Author: 桜鳴 颯祈
I was the substitute. I knew it. I was just a doll who shared the same blood as my glittering younger sister. And that’s why he choose me as his wife.
If anything, in my opinion, it was my sister who was unusual. All the members of my family were ordinary, all except my sister. Yet, she still my kind and gentle family member. My excellent and dazzling sister quickly became an adult and accomplished many amazing things that elevated the status of our family. You could not help but felt affectionate towards her, right? Frankly, I felt a sense of alienation since she alone stands out from the rest of us. Nevertheless, my sister was also pitiful. However, that still doesn’t mean that my inferiority complex nor hatred towards her diminished.
….Yes. I knew about everything, and that was the reason I choose to acknowledge the other alternative to counter my hatred towards her.
That man loves my younger sister. However, my sister, who had become too accustomed to his familial love, had made him hesitated to bring their relationship to the next step. Maybe I should say that everything had turned in the right direction for me. Anyhow, that man and my younger sister assumed that no one knew about their hidden feeling. Therefore, they tried to hide their mutual love from each other; and if you carefully think about it, the story between these two people was actually quite tragic. And I was the villain that kept hindering their love story. To make it worse, I did not even harbor any feelings towards him. It was just that I did not want to be miserable. I only wish to snag the person who loves my younger sister. Yeah, so. Even though my feeling could not come true, I just could accept that my sister should be the only happy person around.
When I decided to marry him, it was a sight to see my younger sister’s reaction. Despair, sorrow, and jealousy. Even though her heart was full of such tragic thought, she desperately pushed it away as she gave me her blessing!
Don’t misunderstand me. Despite everything, I still love my younger sister as what any elder sister would be. It just that, in my case, the hate won over love. That’s why nobody doubted me. Instead, I was such a good sister that I would like to see if any other person will be able to suspect my facade. As someone who envied her own younger sister, no matter what she said and do, I will always be her elder sister. This was also a part of the truth. Besides that, this marriage was for appearance’s sake. In other words, it was a political maneuver. Therefore, who will, in the real sense, harbored any doubt about me?
The ceremony was not gorgeous. It was quite modest. My sister currently had ownership over some properties. However, she did not have any intention to make money as one would expect. She was the typical humble aristocrat, after all.
My sister had hid it perfectly. During the ceremony, her way of enduring the tears desperately was viewed as her being sensitive from having her sister married off. With firm appearances, she gave her blessing, not only to me but also towards that man. Of course, I, as the proper elder sister, displayed my happiness over her felicitation. Except for my family and best friend, if I were to compare between her beloved man and my younger sister, it was still my younger sister that I want to toy within my palm. A~ I started to feel guilty from this dark pleasure.
But this was already good—three years, which were not too long nor too short. My younger sister had loves him forever. He also loves my younger sister. I had hurt these two people due to my selfish desire; that one day, when I woke up, I suddenly thought, really what I had been doing all this time. Because of that, I felt that with my cheating, it should be a good reason for a divorce. I chose a businessman as my perfect cheating partner. It will not be a crime for them to get together later on; there will be no one who will doubt that the two of them were in love with each other. Since I wanted to become the bad guy until the end, I will naturally escape from that place. I might cause inconvenience to my family, but this will be the last one. Let’s forgive and forget everything.
Furthermore, I am not lying when I said I have been cheating on my husband. Because truthfully, I have come to like my cheating partner. However, this love was not something that will come true from the beginning. No matter how scandalous I became from my shameless act, I don’t care. I will run far away from now on due to the work circumstances in this remote place. Originally, anywhere is good, but I was fortunate to be named, and soon I boarded the imperial carriage. This was also a convenient reason, though.
Anyway, today was a good day to go out. The sky was clear and beautiful. With the current state of my heart, I am sure that it was also like that.
….I will reject all letters that I will receive… It will be troublesome if they manage to track my whereabouts and chase after me… Like this, frankly, it will be annoying. My sister has her means. Therefore if I do not do this, she will discover me soon enough. It was detestable to be that stupid.
Well, once this document settled, I will be sunny and free. What shall we do as soon we reach the frontier?
Translator note: A bit dark and twisted but I guess the end is what matter.
It kind of make me think of “My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister”.
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